Life's Little Questions

I think colds should be taken more seriously.

2007-04-26T09:21:00.000+01:00

Yeah, it's just a snotty nose and a headache, but you know what? This virus is trying to KILL me. My body is currently saving my life! However, if someone asked why I missed college, and I tell them that I have a cold, they'll think I'm a pansy.

But you know what, I'm DYING here! Dying! And no one cares but my immune system...

Why do people act like these stupid phrases are 'normal' things to say?

2007-04-23T16:36:00.000+01:00

"Looks like rain to me": Example of a stupid phrase. It actually looks like clouds.
"It's trying to rain": Example of a stupid phrase. It is either raining or it isn't.
"The sun's gone in": Example of a stupid phrase. It hasn't 'gone' anywhere.

And they're just about the weather... There are loads of stupid phrases about, but we all just act like they're completely normal and sane things to say.

How can a phone number be OUT OF ORDER?!

2007-04-19T14:58:00.000+01:00

Argh! I need to get a replacement birth certificate! Argh!

When people's tongues get stuck to something cold...

2007-04-17T16:35:00.000+01:00

... why do they pull it off really quickly, thus hurting themselves, instead of just waiting for it to melt?

Why is the game where if a contestant gets a question wrong, or doesn't score a point or whatever each time, called 'Sudden Death'?

2007-04-17T11:10:00.000+01:00

It conjures up images of someone just being smited by Zeus... a tad over-dramatic, don't you think?

Got a cold? That'll be £20 please!

2007-04-16T16:35:00.000+01:00

Isn't it funny that we have to pay for basic human rights, like health?

I mean, sure the NHS is free over here (most of the time), but I know in other countries it isn't. And we pay for things like painkillers over the counter and stuff. Surely if our health is a human right, we shouldn't need to feel like we can't afford it...

Also, WHY DO I PAY TAX ON MY TAMPONS?!

If the Moon was made of cheese, would we be so interested in sending stuff up there to 'probe' it? And, would we eat it?

2007-04-10T17:30:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the crap post, I just thought I'd get myself into the habit of posting again.

Did drivers of public transport get a pay rise after the terrorist attacks?

2007-01-25T15:04:00.001Z

I don't think they deserve one, bastards. Their job is just as dangerous as it was before.

Why don't we eat sheep?

2007-01-25T14:44:00.000Z

Seriously. Think about it. We eat lamb and we eat mutton (when the sheep dies naturally), but we don't kill sheep to eat them. Why?!

We eat most other animals, even if they give us other products (like cows give milk/leather, chickens give eggs etc), but we don't eat sheep!

"We're back, just like we said we'd be back..."

2007-01-25T14:43:00.000Z

Pah. I hate it when people refer to themselves as 'we', it's so pretentious. Anyway, exams are over, I get the results in March, so just now I have coursework and stuff... Which isn't so bad.

So yay anyway.

How do you become a Horoscopist?

2007-01-14T12:41:00.000Z

"Your desires are problematic today, for they don't support your long-term goals. You may be tempted to just disregard your illogical emotions and go ahead with your plans. But it's not that simple. You might not be able to talk yourself out of what you want. Give yourself a few days in order to make your decision."

-- By Rick Levine.

It's not like little children wake up and go "Yeeeah! I want to write horoscopes when I grow up!!" it doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "Yeeeeah! I want to be an astronaut!!"

What would they draw in school when asked what they want to be? Little tiny thumbnails of rams, scales, fish etc?

At some point in his life Rick Levine thought, "you know what? It's time for a career change. I'm sick of being an accountant-- I know! I'll write people's horoscopes!" Can you take a qualification for that, or is it just 'word of mouth' stuff about your legitimacy?

Also, I think my Horoscope today it telling me that I'm going to get married. In 2 hours.

Why are kiwis furry?

2007-01-14T11:07:00.000Z

No matter how strokeable they are, they will never make good pets.

Wouldn't it be cool if...

2007-01-11T21:06:00.000Z

... Water glowed in the dark?

How pretty would rain be?

Stupid adjective of the week:

2007-01-11T13:50:00.001Z

On the front of a bottle of soap I saw, to my bemusement, the phrase;

"Hygenically clean"

As opposed to what?

Clean, but not hygenic? Nice one.

Also, it boosted my confidence about the state of the NHS a whooole lot *rolls eyes*.

I had a picture of it, but it's even worse than the last one, so I won't bother.

How many times have you been to the dentist and thought "hmm, you know I jcould just go for a shower right now"?

2007-01-11T13:47:00.000Z

Apparently someone did. That picture didn't come out very well... but that's a shower. At my dentist surgery...

Also, all my dentist things are free, America. Muahaha.

Hahaha, that picture really is awful.

I know of chivalry, and I know you can be chivalrous, but can you be a Chival?

2007-01-08T20:51:00.000Z

Why does water that comes from the bathroom taps taste different to water that comes from kitchen taps?

2007-01-07T21:10:00.001Z

You know it does.

Why do you remember useless stuff, but forget what you really need to know?

2007-01-07T09:55:00.000Z

You'll forget where your keys are, where the remote is, what you wanted when you went shopping... But remember how much change you've got in your wallet, random lines from films and... well, other random stuff.

For example, I remember that the Labour Party's 1983 election manifesto was deemed 'the longest suicide note in history', but try getting me to remember Phillip Bobbit's six modalities that a Justice can use to judge a case and I'm lost. Bah.

Stupid brain.

Shakespeare of the day:
Well, heaven forgive him, and forgive us all.
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall,
Some run from breaks of ice and answer none,
And some condemed for a fault alone.

From Measure For Measure, Escalus in Act 2, Scene 1.

Star-cross'd cultures...

2007-01-06T17:46:00.000Z

I think I experienced what trying to converse with someone who speaks another language was like today.

Firstly, today I went into one of the posh Oxfam shops and found some amaaazing classic literature books. All leather-bound and old-looking. They had a whole selection of Dickens, but even though I don't like him too much, it seemed such a shame to waste them (especially for 99p BOGOF!) that I had to buy a couple for my friend who does. I also bought Shakespeare's Tragedies (I have them all anyway, it's just a nicer copy... It'll look good on my shelf), H.G Wells 'The Time Machine' and Percy Shelly & Hopkins poetry. All for £2.98 (US Translation: $50000).

On the train home I was reading Shelley's 'to the Skylark', or rather, rereading it, because I didn't quite understand it the first time round, but it sounded pretty. And some MORON with an mp3 player on their phone started playing 'Fergalicious'(?) and some other stupid rap songs. I swear I didn't understand half the words that were said, and it just distracted me from reading the poetry. One of the best poets in history, a GENIUS and perfect lyricist. I felt slightly blasphemist and guilty that my generation formed such stupid music. Argh.

Talk about mixed cultures.

I apologise for the Shakespeare references recently, I have been reading quite a lot of it. Even though reading a play is a bit like reading music, it doesn't really make sense until it's actually played, I still like the language and stuff. I wish I could go to the theatre more often.

Oh, exams, exams, wherefore art thou closed book?

2007-01-02T20:50:00.000Z

I shan't be online much for the next 2-3 weeks because I have horrid exams coming up and need to revise.

But, Sir, I thought that was illegal?

2007-01-01T16:28:00.000Z

"Remarriages increased from 57,000 in 1961 (14% of all marriages) to 126,000 in 2000 (41% of all marriages. Most remarriages involve divorced persons rather than widows and widowers. The largest increase occurred between 1971 and 1972 following the introduction of the Divorce Reform Act of 1969."

Huh? Widows and 'widowers'? Surely 'widowers' referrs to those that made someone a widow, which would be... someone dead, right? That's how the process of becoming a widow usually works, anyway.

So it's rather blatent that someone who is divorced is more likely to get remarried than someone who is... dead...

*baffled.*

Oxymoron of 2006:

2007-01-01T14:21:00.001Z

"Nice guy."

A stroke of genius?

2006-12-31T20:38:00.000Z

Bethia: you know what's really cool? The way the light in the fridge comes on when you open the door
Bethia: but it goes off when you close it
Bethia: that was a stroke of genious
Jason: LOL
Jason: yes, it was in fact.
Jason: but what if the mechanism breaks?
Bethia: OMG.
Jason: what if when you close the door it's not really turning the light off?
Jason: you wouldn't be able to tell.
Bethia: the world would end!
Jason: LOL yes!
Jason: everybody would just run out of energy.
Jason: due to the hidden lit fridge bulbs.
Bethia: do the lights in fridges have Trade Unions?

Think about it. I mean, really think about it.

Wasn't it just pure genius? Where would you be without it? You spill milk in the fridge. Oops! Can't clean it up, there's no light! Can't find the ham? Tough! There's no light. Something gone mouldy? Can't tell! No light!

Obviously the real question here is whether the light in the oven was invented before the fridge light, or the other way around. Whichever came first, it obviously paved the way for the other kitchen appliances. I mean, would microwaves really have 'caught on' if it hadn't been for the fact that you can see the food turning around inside? No light, no turning.

Without those lights, there would be chaos!

And now for the history (be careful, I researched this REALLY well!).

The refridgerator was invented in 1876, and the first light bulb... around that time. If you search for the date that the bulb was invented, you get a really stupid answer, but it was around that time. So I figure, if it was just being patented at that time, Carl Paul Gottfried von Linde wouldn't have had one in his garage or wherever he invented the fridge... That makes me feel that someone, once owning Their First Refridgerator thought "Oh my, wouldn't it be simply delightful to have a light in this fridge!"

Either that or the inventor of the light bulb thought, "aha! if I could make sure that every one of THOSE had one of THESE, I'd sell millions!" Which is unlikely, I think he'd be more worried about partying like it was 1999 after getting that patent, or whatever science geeks do to celebrate.

Based on this evidence, I think the inventor should be given a Nobel Prize. I thought about emailing them (I even wrote out the email) but then I found on the comments page:

FREE comments you say? FREE? Are there more expensive ones you can get? First Class opinions? Tut. I'm not writing to them, those fascist bastards!

... And then I got completely bored with the idea and gave up.

My (free and therefore unworthy) opinion still stands. If anyone else wants to tell them, please do so <3.

Pointless Drivel and Great Art: A Match Made in Heaven (A Pre-Raephelite Special)

2006-12-31T19:30:00.000Z

The last one isn't so clear, but it reads "Mr Fab was jealous of this man's penis and hareem"

2006-12-29T21:12:00.000Z

Okay, so Mr Fab 'tagged' me (for which I shall never, ever, ever forgive him)... I take it this isn't like what we used to play in the playground, where I now have to run around, get out of breath, then give up because everyone else was faster...

In his words, "I am supposed to reveal five things about me that none of you know".

1. I'm not a very fast runner and it doesn't take too long for me to give up.

2. When I get angry I practice Karate and pretend to aim at the person/people that annoyed me.

3. I'm still amazed by the little light in the fridge... Did I make a post on that? I cna't remember...

4. I'm really glad that I only have one more of these to write.

5. I’m worried about why Mr Fab wanted to know 5 secrets about me... STALKER!... Or maybe he's worried about me running away with his wife, and wants to find out my weaknesses ;).

Can we tag-back? If we can, I tag Mr Fab back... Muahahaha. Also, I tag MC and Maven.