Life's Little Questions

Pet Hates; Beta V.1.0

I realised over the past few days in a new town, seeing new people, etc etc, that I actually have quite a few 'pet hates'. As a result, I'm trying to compile a comprehensive list of them. The question I pose to you lovely ladies & gentlemen is whether you can help me in this task in guessing some of my other pet hates, because I forget most of them.

1. Top-lip studs. It's not cool, it's not pretty. In fact, it pretty much screams "I'm a Butch Lesbian!".
2. Lower-back tattoos. Some can be quite attractive as tattoos, but even the nicest ones could generally be changed to "AIM HERE!" and still give across the same message. No matter what you get, it will always look slutty. Not even in a good kind of, fishnet-stockings slutty, either. Just in a "I tried to look sexy but failed" slutty way.
   
3. Playboy merchandise. There's no better way to tell everyone around you that's you're easy.
   
4. Mothers that say their baby is a "good boy/girl" just because it's asleep. A baby that is asleep isn't being "good", it's just trying to get away from its mother's incessant attention-giving. Urgh.
5. Mothers that are only friends with other mothers, and think that their child is the best child in the world. Chances are it's actually going to end up on a council estate one day, so they should just face up to reality now instead of bitching about women that aren't mothers, or how they have it so hard because they are mothers, or how their child benefit didn't come through this month or whatever else they have to whine about. Nobody cares.
   
6. Small children.
7. Things that aren't aligned. Parallel lines are good, people. Symmetry is even better.
   
8. The toilet paper that you get in public toilets that looks and feels like the tracing paper you used to use in primary school. You know the stuff.
9. Toilet paper that has puppies on. WHY WAS THIS INVENTED?! I DO NOT WANT TO WIPE MY ARSE WITH CUTE LITTLE PUPPIES!
10. Men (and sometimes women, but men are generally worse) that cling to you. I. Do. Not. Need. A. Bodyguard. Get off my arm.
    
11. Men that pull your bobble out of your hair. Seriously. It wasn't even funny when you were 12, you just need to give up now.
    
12. Girls that are obsessed with themselves. Imagine this situation: you're at a campsite, it's raining, it's windy, the closest thing you could get to a 'good pull' would be the OAP that forgot his fishing tackle and is looking for any escape from his whining wife. Then imagine walking into the toilets to find three women straightening their hair and putting on makeup. It's not necessary. Your face will NOT fall apart if you don't put foundation on as soon as you wake up.
13. People that can't type but won't let you do it for them.
    
14. People that talk on hands-free kits when they're walking down the street, or on a train/bus, or just generally when they have their hands free anyway. It doesn't make anyone look 'cool', the vast majority of people just think you're talking to yourself, so just do the world a favour and hold your phone, you lazy bastard.
    

So if you can think of anything you think I should add, please do so.

posted by eriu @ 5:50:00 PM