When Will I Learn That Some Places Will Never Be Entertaining?
I went to Mansfield (
used to be the Heart of Sherwood Forest) today, on the 10.57am train, which gets me there at approximately 11.15am. I planned to spend the day out rather than staying in and watching 'girl films', as I did yesterday :). Also, I found £70 in my purse that I didn't know I had (needless to say, it's not there now.)
I went to pick up
my watch from Argos first, which took longer than expected as when I was waiting for the machine to clal my Order Number, it just disappeared off the screen. Of course, according to the shop attendent I didn't /have/ a number. Sigh. Anyway, Bethia prevailed and got her watch, and fortunately this time it didn't break (yay!). I brought my 'new' phone to be fixed (the one that broke within the first month of me having it), and gave it to a man that said he'd fix it for me. "Come back in an hour," said he. An hour, right! I'm in town, an hour can't be too hard to spend!
Time spent looking at shoes: 10 minutes
Time spent looking at clothes: another 10 minutes
That gave me 40 minutes to kill. I decided to sit in Debenhams and have a cup of hot chocolate, after buying Private Eye (again) so that I could entertain myself whilst drinking. This brings me to another question I thought of during the course of the day;
Why do some people ignore the laws of people's personal space?
I went to the toilets, and as per usual I had to wait in the queue. An overly-friendly woman with a pushchair started talking to me. Toilet small-talk usually, it's annoying that there's a queue, they should build more, they don't accomodate for mothers etc etc, when she unexpectedly reached out and grabbed my scarf, tugged it and said "That's nice!". I, although startled, politely pretended that I wasn't about to choke and thanked her for her kindness, telling her that it was in a sale, too, and prayed that someone would finish in the goddamn toilet.
Why do illiterate people graffitti toilet doors?
This piece of graffitti unfortunately wasn't found in the toilets at Debenhams, but it followed on from my story quite well. Note that up here we still use the town a person comes from as a tool of identification; 'Jamie Jones of Mansfield', 'Mr Darcy of Pembrokeshire', etc. Well, I guess I should be thankful that I now know to avoid this Jamie Jones as he is a renouned 'pirvirt'.
What are the odds that I'd actually steal something from a shop?
Next I went back to the place where I left my phone, and apparently he was 'just putting it back together', and would take another half an hour. Great. I went wandering in random shops, looking at things I didn't even want. Apart from the moisturiser I bought (do you know how hard it is to find moisturiser that isn't anti-wrinkle, anti-ageing or about £5000?). I swear that in about 2/3s of the shops I went in a security guard watched me, even amounting to following me around the aisles in Boots on one occasion. I have never stolen anything. Is my problem that I just
look like a thief? Jeez.
Why does everything break either just after the 28-day warranty or as soon as you buy it?
I dropped my phone, which is why it's broken, and didn't call T Mobile about it (because I would rather pay £25 to get it fixed than wait on hold for an hour before talking to incompetent sales staff). Apparently, the man that said he would fix it can't fix it and has to send it back to Nokia. This takes 3 weeks. Right.
It was the second time I bought my watch, as the first time I bought it it broke the first time I put it on. I got a refund, obviously, and decided to buy it again as I'm picky about which watches I actually like, and the Punky Fish stuff I've bought before has always been of good quality. I guess we'll see.
I'm getting rather annoyed of everything breaking, though.
I think that's all I have to say about my day so far. I'm tempted to rant about the train, but I might just leave it with:
Why do the ticket collectors on trains never come round when you have bought a return ticket, but always when you buy a single?
If we don't allow pets off leads on trains, why do we let noisy children run riot throughout the carriage?
Why do people (especially girls) think it's "cool" to let everyone know they get a new text message? If you're expecting a reply, turn your phone on silent, you morons, only you need to know when you recieve it.
Why does your pen always run out when you have nothing to do but doodle on a bit of paper?
Note to self: Never, EVER go to Mansfield again.
Why Don't More People...
... buy the Big Issue?
Beside the fact that it's a good magazine as they can write about anything they please, without having to live up to the editor's ideals, writing what the government/public want to hear etc, it's really nice to actually buy it.
It's a nice experience -- they guys (they're always male, for some reason) that sell them are always really friendly. Today when I bought it he didn't have the right change to give me, so I just said that £3 change was enough. He was so grateful for the extra 60p that that gave him, it was almost heart-warming. That's only just a can of coke.
It gives you a nice feeling, in a selfish, 'I'm glad my life isn't that bad' kind of way, which is what the feelings boil down to in the end.
In conclusion, more people should buy the Big Issue.
You'd do it if it saved poor, black, starving children in Africa (mainly because Bono would beat your ass if you didn't.)
Why Do I...
... still pay tax on tampons?!
This really isn't fair. It's not like we ask to have a period, in fact, being as I'm still a teenager, the government doesn't want me to have a child and therefore not have a period for nine months. So why charge me tax on my tampons, Mr Almighty Chancellor?
Why Has This Template...
... NOT CAPITALISED THE TITLE?!
Can we live with this, people?!
Why do you always look at the clock...
... when it says 11:11?
How Long Does It Take...
... for a spider to find a nice right-angle triangle somewhere to build a web?
Always a right angle triangle, they won't settle for less. Humans just seem to go "LAND! UG OOG! BUILD!". Spiders are far too picky for that bollocks, but how long do they actually spend picking a spot? They're not that big and can't travel too far too quickly, but they always need that *perfect* place.
How Come...
... when bread is stale it goes hard, but when biscuits are stale they go soft?
Why Do People...
... still think I'm not innocent? :(
| Your Deadly Sins |
| Gluttony: 60% |
| Wrath: 60% |
| Envy: 20% |
| Greed: 20% |
| Sloth: 20% |
| Lust: 0% |
| Pride: 0% |
| Chance You'll Go to Hell: 26% |
| You'll die from food poisoning - and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs. |
Who Can...
... find or make me the best skin for the blog?
It's a bit dull at the minute, so if anyone has any skins or similar to make it more interesting, please post the links in a comment or email for me.
The best one found in a week gets used, or something.
Uber-brownie points for anyone that can actually make one!
Why Are Christians...
... so stupidly closed-minded and annoying?
I thought about putting this in the previous 'Pet Hate' post, but thought it deserved a post all of its own.
I read
this news article, and specifically the paragraph;
Green, whose right-wing group also campaigns against homosexuality, told The Independent: ‘Freedom of speech doesn't go so far as being blasphemous. This is a matter of God being gratuitously insulted.’
Seriously... People actually think this. How does this happen?!
Pet Hates; Beta V.1.0
I realised over the past few days in a new town, seeing new people, etc etc, that I actually have quite a few 'pet hates'. As a result, I'm trying to compile a comprehensive list of them. The question I pose to you lovely ladies & gentlemen is whether you can help me in this task in guessing some of my other pet hates, because I forget most of them.
- Top-lip studs. It's not cool, it's not pretty. In fact, it pretty much screams "I'm a Butch Lesbian!".
- Lower-back tattoos. Some can be quite attractive as tattoos, but even the nicest ones could generally be changed to "AIM HERE!" and still give across the same message. No matter what you get, it will always look slutty. Not even in a good kind of, fishnet-stockings slutty, either. Just in a "I tried to look sexy but failed" slutty way.
- Playboy merchandise. There's no better way to tell everyone around you that's you're easy.
- Mothers that say their baby is a "good boy/girl" just because it's asleep. A baby that is asleep isn't being "good", it's just trying to get away from its mother's incessant attention-giving. Urgh.
- Mothers that are only friends with other mothers, and think that their child is the best child in the world. Chances are it's actually going to end up on a council estate one day, so they should just face up to reality now instead of bitching about women that aren't mothers, or how they have it so hard because they are mothers, or how their child benefit didn't come through this month or whatever else they have to whine about. Nobody cares.
- Small children.
- Things that aren't aligned. Parallel lines are good, people. Symmetry is even better.
- The toilet paper that you get in public toilets that looks and feels like the tracing paper you used to use in primary school. You know the stuff.
- Toilet paper that has puppies on. WHY WAS THIS INVENTED?! I DO NOT WANT TO WIPE MY ARSE WITH CUTE LITTLE PUPPIES!
- Men (and sometimes women, but men are generally worse) that cling to you. I. Do. Not. Need. A. Bodyguard. Get off my arm.
- Men that pull your bobble out of your hair. Seriously. It wasn't even funny when you were 12, you just need to give up now.
- Girls that are obsessed with themselves. Imagine this situation: you're at a campsite, it's raining, it's windy, the closest thing you could get to a 'good pull' would be the OAP that forgot his fishing tackle and is looking for any escape from his whining wife. Then imagine walking into the toilets to find three women straightening their hair and putting on makeup. It's not necessary. Your face will NOT fall apart if you don't put foundation on as soon as you wake up.
- People that can't type but won't let you do it for them.
- People that talk on hands-free kits when they're walking down the street, or on a train/bus, or just generally when they have their hands free anyway. It doesn't make anyone look 'cool', the vast majority of people just think you're talking to yourself, so just do the world a favour and hold your phone, you lazy bastard.
So if you can think of anything you think I should add, please do so.
Does 5.30am....
... actually exist?!
Because that's apparently what time I'll be waking up tomorrow. Wish me luck, and I'll be back on Saturday.
Why Don't I Have...
... one of these?!
Why Is The World Obsessed With...
... taking vitamin enhancements?
Seriously, it's getting a little extreme. Even I take Bassett's Children's Strawberry Flavour Chewable Multivitamins, and I hate the whole idea. Even corporate businesses, such as whoever owns the Flintstones, have cashed into it. Not that any children should be exposed to that sexist, 'goldenage' POS, but that's a story for another post.
Contrary to popular belief, the human body does not instantly fall apart if we do not get our 100% RDA for Vitamin A, C, D and E every day. Nor do our bones shatter if we do not drink milk, or our brains suddenly stop functioning if we don't take our Omega 3 tablets.
What brought me on to this is that I was
looking through the Avon catologue and found thatthey are selling an eyebrow pencil that is 'enriched with vitamins A and E'. Why? Because women instantly go "You mean my current Glimmersticks Brow Definer
doesn't have vitamins in it?! My eyebrows can't see in the dark?!", and instantly believe that they do, in fact, need the extra vitamin A in their eyebrows, because they have been realising that recently they've been having trouble putting on their makeup in the dark...
Why Is Eriu...
...Scared of peeing?
As it says really, but it does raise the question, what does she do when she has to go :p
Does Everyone Hate It When...
... people judge you, correctly?
I hate that I read
this and found that it's actually all true.
Why Is The Almost-Bit-Part In Films/TV Programmes...
... always played by a bad actor?
It's really quite annoying. You get the rivoting acting from the main characters, then a character that is important but minor comes in and screws the whole thing up.
Does Anyone Else Think...
... that we have an (un)welcome visitor about?
Why Do People...
... always come back at that pivotal moment, just when you were starting to cope with the fact that they weren't there anymore?
What Is It About Men That Can Handle Guns...
... that makes them so damn sexy?
Seriously, the (anti-)hero act is reeeeally hot. Why is this? The fact that a man can control a heated situation, and handle a gun at the same time is incredibly hot. Why is this? Why do I just want him to push me up against the nearest wall?
